To Be or Not to Be?? That is the Question!


 

 Bruce the Blight

Bruce the Blight

 

The MTO is in the business of providing a way for us to get from point A to point B. The problem is they think those points are the same for everyone!

They think we all live, work, shop and visit at either A or B. 

Try and get a permit to open a driveway for a business half way between A and B.

If you are one of the rare successful ones you better have money left over for a sign permit after you clear the message, illuminaqtion, location, size, font and color of the sign with the MTO. We can’t have signs distracting people getting from A to B.

 Try and get a permit for a driveway or to build a home half way between A and B.

Can’t have that! You might create a hazard with your mailbox or have kids that need the school bus to stop and that would slow down people getting from A to B.

 Now let’s consider Hepworth point A and you decide to build a home and live there.

Better not try and build on Elizabeth St. on a vacant lot! Even though it’s zoned residential and taxes are assessed as residential it’s really zoned “future development” and you can’t have a building permit.

Well why not – you are the future and your home is the development, right?

Actually no, since future development really means there is no development in the future unless you qualify by making some kind of change to the property.

OK, what change or changes are required? That’s where it gets complicated! 

The County says the property is residential and the Town says it’s future development but the County has to make the changes, but can’t even talk about it without researching why it’s future development for about 3 weeks, but “Try the Conservation Authority” in the meantime but don’t forget the property is within 1200 ft. of the highway and the MTO must be involved but you’ll probably have to go to Committee of Adjustments for change in lot size and do a Karst study and do a drainage plan and look for possible future sink holes but for God’s sake don’t mention the “Modular” parts of your new home that started life as shipping containers since the Town has a bylaw outlawing them!

Enough buts there to fill Jimmy’s ashtray! 

Oh, screw it! Let’s try and build at Wiarton as point B and drive unobstructed by school busses and mail delivery to work in Hepworth point A!

But…. There’s about five people in Wiarton who object to any new development there and they don’t even have infrastructure for a 4-plex in place yet and they object to new infrastructure and they don’t want anything to progress till they die and they’re not ready to die yet and there’s no work in Hepworth anyway and……..!

 Oh, screw it! I’m moving to Tuktoyaktuk and I’ll look for work building igloos or hunting seals until global warming turns my front yard into beachfront!

 It’s a world full of regulations people, but it’s for your own good don’t you know, to protect you from having to sue anyone later if anything should happen – and despite, or maybe because of all the permits and regulations, things happen! You already need a permit to piss and they’re working on a regulation to stop you from pissing into the wind!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Bruce

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